Diary, day seven

I was so nervous before I posted my youtube video yesterday. Nervous about looking foolish or amateur. Nervous of being laughed at. Just nervous.

Now that it’s up? I keep checking the page to see if anyone has watched! It’s slightly obsessive how I’m behaving. So far it’s had 21 views. It’s bad that I know this.

I’m sat on the couch eating rice crackers with a home-made, spiced green-apple butter… & I can’t even concentrate on what I’m eating! It’s delicious… but I just keep eating more because I’m devouring these things absentmindedly & not actually getting any enjoyment out of what I’m eating.

Don’t you hate that? eating whilst you’re doing a task? You don’t really pay attention to what you’re consuming & half the pleasure is just gone. I think this is why I generally don’t allow phones or tablets at the dinner table. No technology during food. Of course, I don’t put the same ban on snacking & half a pack of rice cakes later, I still don’t know where they went.

There has been no progress today. I was supposed to pick up an order of ingredients & experiment some more with these protein bars that I’m making, but of course it hasn’t arrived. Now it looks like I’m getting sick, so I’ll just be fantasising about cooking instead of actually doing any.

That’s all I have to say for now.

Oh, & watch the video


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