Diary, day thirty-four

I love visiting recipes I’ve written a couple years later…

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There’s something so satisfying being able to look at them & know immediately how I can make them better.

I can look at the flour to butter ratio & see that it needs adjusting. Know that if I change the type of sugar & increase the amount, I’ll completely change the texture. It’s liberating.

Did I ever tell you the story about when I first switched to being a gluten-free chef? I probably have, & for that I apologise. I do not intend to repeat myself like a 90 year old man reliving his glory days. I’m also too lazy to comb through older posts to see if I have or not… so what I’m saying is, I’m going to tell you again.

Years ago, when I first made the switch, I went to visit my mum in Colorado. I’d already been a chef for a couple years at this point & was pretty on my game. I was used to making desserts that had people begging for more & I was confident in the kitchen. Any way, switching to gluten-free was challenging to say the least. I didn’t know my arse from my elbow. I didn’t know about the wide range of flours available. I wasn’t familiar with their textures, flavours, or what they would add to my goods. I was seriously clueless.

So there I was, in Colorado, overly confident in my skills & utterly clueless all that the same time, & all I wanted to do was bake for my mum.

There is something you need to know about my mum. She has an unstoppable sweet-tooth. The woman is built like a machine. Lean, covered in muscle, can put most people to shame in a yoga class…. but she can’t stay away from the sweets. Every single time I’m in the kitchen baking for a client, she’s chasing after me to make a little extra so she can indulge.

Naturally, I was there on holiday so for a change I wanted to bake FOR her, instead of just making extra on an existing order. Like I said, I didn’t know my arse from my elbow.

So any way, there I was, baking away. Using pre-made gluten-free white flour blends (which I didn’t know anything about, & didn’t know which ingredients in the blends to avoid), & there my mum was, telling me how excellent everything was.

Every morning I’d wake up, & more of the desserts would be missing. & every morning she & my step-dad would tell me that they woke up in the middle of the night with a sweet tooth & went for a snack.

Years later, when I finally learnt what the hell I was doing… that was when my mum confessed. She spilled the beans about everything. She had actually been waiting till I’d gone to bed to throw away the desserts piece by piece & lie to me! She openly admitted that she & my step dad had had some very serious conversations about how it was probably time I found a new career & they were worried about me.

She said this all laughing hysterically of course. She said it with the confidence of knowing that I had come a million miles since then & had gotten back to a place of skill. Truth be told, I laughed when she confessed. I love my relationship with my mum. My whole life, she has been honest with me & been my biggest supporter. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am without her. I know that when she told me that secret, it was because she knew I’d progressed past the stage of disaster & was finally on to something good. She could tell me knowing it wouldn’t shatter my confidence.

I’m reminiscing about this story now, because I kind of feel that way again. I look back at old recipes that I loved & worked so hard on, & I know that I can apply the knowledge I’ve acquired over the last couple of years to making them even better. It’s funny how that works. I know I still have a million more miles to go. I know I can always get better, always improve more. I’m just happy with where I’m at & where I’m going.

I hope you enjoyed my rant. I hope you’re now excited to see more of the brownies on Wednesday. Keep tuned, there is always more. xxx

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